You think you’ve found the right guy. You’ve given it your best shot, given it time, and now you want him to commit. Your mother says it’s time. Your friends say it’s time. The pressure is on. It’s gotten to the point where you can’t even enjoy the things you once enjoyed because your focus has shifted entirely on getting a man to marry you. And you think you can’t be happy again until he shows up with a ring. Your life is on hold. You need to be yourself. You’re worth more than that.

If this sounds like you, I want you to take a deep breath. I want you to sit down and remember who you were before this guy came along. What were you known for? What did you like to do? What were your dreams (besides getting married)? Think about it. Now. Get a pen and paper and write it down. Now! You need to be that person again. You need to be yourself. You need to be the person you were when you attracted this guy into your life in the first place. For you. Aren’t you?

Not for him. For you. Because the last thing you want to do is beg, cajole, manipulate, or guilt a man into marrying you. You absolutely do not want him telling his friends, “I gave her the ring to shut her up.” You do not need (or want) any man doing you any favors. You do want a man who loves you, treasures you, and feels like the luckiest man alive because you agreed to marry him. Got that? You want him to feel lucky, not the other way around. You’re worth more than that.

And if he doesn’t get around to feeling lucky to be with you, do yourself a favor and move on — because what on earth do you think marriage to a man who thinks he did you a big favor is going to feel like five years from now? You’re worth more than that. Aren’t you? You do not need (or want) any man doing you any favors. You do want a man who loves you, treasures you, and feels like the luckiest man alive because you agreed to marry him. You need to be yourself. For you.